Contributors

So.  There is this section on the side of the blog called 'contributors.'  This is a regular blogger feature when you have a blog with more than one administrator.  This harkens back to the beginning of the blog, which I dreamt up while sitting in The Pancake House, of all places, with a group of fantastic friends.  I had a big vision, as I often do, about a team blog, a communal space.  This was a place where we would all be able to post thoughts, and in fact carry on a sort of creative conversation.  Kindly, my friends said they would join and I set them all up with full administrator rights on the blog, a tiny bit of guilt, and set off for San Diego.  Initially, we all had a few posts, and I felt connected in a way that I couldn't have been otherwise.  It was pretty great.  So great I raved about it to a telecommunications brainstorming session I was invited to be part of at work.  The ability to have this kind of a private/public shared community space on the internet would be important I thought, not that it was unprecedented.

Alas, the posts began to wear thin.  I felt as though I had to wait for someone else to say something before I could weigh in again because I was trying not to dominate the conversation.  In fact, I think for a while there I learned how to think of an idea to write about and then squash the thought immediately.  Time went by, and I posted here and there, and eventually this blog became what it is now, my own individual creative outlet.

All that to say I really like having that list of contributors there.  They stand as a public reminder that what goes on here is fundamentally dependent upon so much more than me.  And in fact, all my close friends, even those who weren't listed at the time (whom i'd love to set up with the same privileges), contribute so much to my life and character.  Some of them have great blogs of their own.  I can and do learn a lot about writing, expression and creativity from these people.  Still more friends of mine have musical, artistic, athletic and intellectual creative drive and ability that I learn more from every day.

So yeah.  There are a lot of contributors here.  Many more than are listed.  And i'm thankful.

Lessons from a World Cup Coach Potatoe

Well, if you are willing to take in a thought from a guy who starts his mornings by eating breakfast, watching soccer, drinking coffee, eating more breakfast and getting stuck in wikipedia loops about Christian existentialism then read on, otherwise, I'm not sure I have much to offer you at this point!

For those that might still be with me, I will say this, only because it seems to have been proved to me time and time again.  First I will attempt to describe a situation which could be felt by different people in vastly different ways but which fundamentally revolves around restlessness.  It may be a time or day in which you feel like you must change your schedule, you must get out and do something different, or you must be at an event or something socially acceptable as fun.  Maybe you just must see some friend of yours, any of them.  It could be loneliness, dissatisfaction, boredom, or an suffocating familiarity.  I think universally it involves the urge to just do something, which I am not saying is altogether unhealthy or inappropriate, but I think it can be a hint at something larger.  All that to say, the action that I would recommend is to not frantically pursue the urges.  In the rare times when I am able to, against all intuition, use these moments to take a step back and away, I can gain some perspective.  Again, at even rarer times, I can use this retreat to try and focus on God, to plead God to show me his person, to implore him for greater understanding of his love, and to ask for peace.  Often after much (sometimes seemingly fruitless) effort put in this direction, returning to the day's activities, it is later when I begin to notice a change.  Almost always it involves a heightened sense of creativity, a feeling of peace, contentment, and joy at experiencing some of the mysteries of Christ.  And thats that.  God reveals his heart and his peace to people in different ways I am sure.  I speak to this because I feel like I've experienced the correlation.  So try it sometime, the next instance you have where you feel along the lines of which described above.  But I can't just say do what I do, because its possible that a simple act of service or contemplation-in-activity causes you to feel closer to God, but then I'd say try that too.

Good News

Beware the broaching of a somewhat/sometimes controversial topic.  But, alas, I have yet again decided to outlet into the blog more instead of just being concerned over production and perception.

So, as usual, I quote:

Evangelism  should be less of a duty and more of a desire.  It  is the natural and normal outpouring of a  Christ-centred, God-impacted, kingdom-enjoying life.  We ARE the light of the world and the salt of the earth.  It’s significant that Paul never has to instruct any of the churches to whom he writes to evangelize.  That much they were already doing quite naturally.  The commission passages in Scripture are less commands to be awkwardly and artificially obeyed and more promises of the presence of Christ in partnership with  us  as  we  naturally and unavoidably  manifest  our faith  to  others.  If you are not showing and sharing your faith regularly, you may be  artificially holding back  from doing what would come naturally if you stopped worrying and cultivated some gelassenheit (let-go-ness). - Bruxy Cavey

Hmmmphh.  Call me way behind the ball, but I was thinking about this kind of a thrust today, about the church as Christ continuing on the role of Jesus, the Gospel, or the Good News, in the world now.  It actually makes sense, how can the church be the body of Christ, entwined in a loving (and growing) relationship with creator God Almighty and not share the message of the Good News.  I'm not talking about the evangelism that gets tonnes of press and creates the odd names and reputations that evangelicals have developed (see tele-anything or right wing republicans).  I'm talking about living as Jesus Christ and his disciples did in that life as an active way of sharing the idea that there is something different, another possibility, and Jesus is right at the centre of it.  I liked how Bruxy noted that the unity of the church (hopefully) , across racial, status, age, and political boundaries is one of the first ways in which 'a different way' can be demonstrated.  This point may seem so simple to you readers and you've run with it all along.  But bear with me, because I think previously I avoided the discussion of 'evangelism' given the negative connotations and reputation.  In reality, its about figuring out how and what one is sharing in one's life.  If I consider the understanding of love that I have through relationship with God and others to be what defines my life, then I should be able to share what I believe to be the power of Jesus Christ that enables it.  Even this could be slightly controversial I guess because it might bring some down the track of the problem of determining that other people's systems of belief are wrong, and this might be territory you might not want to be in - but I think that that is to be thought out and discussed more another time!

A Saviour

If there is one way to think of God that I don't really actively dwell on that much it is as a saviour. It's not that I don't think I am in need of saving - much to the contrary.  It is, for some reason, that I don't naturally use that part of the language of God. Why not?  It's possible it is because it has strong connotations of imperialistic evangelism or something like that.  Truth is, thinking about God in that way need not involve thinking about actions of the church.

If I asked you whether you sometimes (appropriately or not) looked at friends of yours as saviours for you of your loneliness, or 'lostness' - would that resonate?  Your relationships with these people may drive you, or help maintain your balance, prevent you from despair.  Now that's a way to think of God as a saviour eh?  In fact, our relationship with God is the only one that could save us from a lonely and bitter despair.

Humility?

... it had made her realize that any good thing we do has its source, not in ourselves but rather in that spring where this tree, which is the soul, is planted, and in that sun which sheds its radiance on our works.  She says that she saw this so clearly that, whenever she did any good thing, or saw such a thing done, she betook herself straightway to its Source, realizing that without His help we are powerless.  She then went on at once to praise God; and, as a rule, when she did any good action, she never gave a thought to herself at all.   - St Teresa of Avila

I had this quote written down a while ago and was dwelling on it today.  I feel like I wish I knew more what humility was and this, I think, might be a good place to start.  My sister-in-law, quoting her pastor I believe, once said "humility is the shyest of virtues."  I like that thought too - but then I don't really know much about it if I am writing and talking in the search to learn no?  Well, it is what it is.  I think the good thing about going straightway to the Source is that it reinforces that in some way we are known by God in what we do, in our efforts to love and live right and hopefully we get to the place where that is enough (most likely through repetition).  Or at least we try to get to that place, which is a struggle enough sometimes...

Through a Glass Darkly

For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known.  But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love. - 1 Corinthians 14:37  (emphasis definitely mine)

Isn't it exciting!?  *face* to  *face*.  That is how intimately we will know God.  And I love how Paul puts this in 'the love chapter'  as if to begin by describing the best we know of love - and then imply - this is only our understanding as through a glass darkly, or a mirror dimly; we will know deeply and intimately a greater love than this.  In fact we will 'know fully' as we are 'fully known.'  What more can we ask for indeed!  I pray that in the meantime I will abide fully in the faith, hope and love that I do know and that this grows evermore.

Empire State of Mind

I think i might know one reason people like New York City.  In New York City you are important, its like you're witnessing 500 tv show narratives at the same time as you are writing/acting/directing your own.  I learned today that Charles Addams (of Addams' Family and New Yorker fame) would often draw up his little cartoons for the New Yorker from stories and scenes witnessed and overheard on the streets, in the buildings, and in the parks of the city.  While walking around after I began thinking about this because I just could NOT concentrate on praying nor reading.  Anyway, i witnessed my own little hilarious scene in which 2 young sisters walking home from school were having a difference of opinion over speed of travel.

... "this is the speed in which I am going to walk at!"  declared the younger, pronouncing the syllables as slow as she took her steps, her knapsack rolling behind her.

         .... The older sister slows down to wait for the younger so that it would be impossible to avoid noticing the frustration painted across her face ...

I laughed to myself.  That's funny.  Because its life.  We have all had those moments.  The thing with New York is everything is played out for everyone else.  First of all, there is so many people everywhere.  Second, the scenes are set perfectly - 1/2 the films out there try to reproduce these backgrounds.  Third, everyone looks great and is dressed perfectly (I mean just browse through a few pages of The Sartorialist), or they are dressed authentically and with purpose, and lastly everyone is LOUD.  Walking in New York you witness little snippets of everyone else's life narrative - their anger, their love, their best and their worst.  So this is the first reason people like New York - because lets be honest, who doesn't want to be able to glimpse so many other people's lives; absorb, compare, laugh and judge.

But more importantly,  one (or is it just me?) feels as though his narrative for his time in New York is also being observed and judged.  It is as though, the setting creates importance, which gives our actions and decisions, even just our appearance - value?  Take for example, this morning after a long time eating breakfast in bed watching soccer I strolled out to get a coffee and read for a bit at M. Rohrs: a great little cafe right near my brother's apartment.  One of those New York cafe's that is a quaint little thing sunken down from the sidewalk with tables, pastries, and *things* everywhere.  While reading my book, and drinking my fantastically smooth latte, I find myself looking up when people walk in the door to judge whether they belong in my scene - and to observe whether they take notice of my importance in the headline role.  Really?  yes really.  I'm not saying its healthy or correct.  But it is what it is.

It makes me think of value.  And our search for it.  It makes me think with a bit of sadness about humility.  The thing is, at the risk of sounding cheesy, I already a live a pretty damn important narrative.  It's not important because I'm in New York.  It's important because God is there - loving me to a fault - loving me in action - with care, kindness, responsibility, respect, trust, knowledge - to an infinite degree.  Mind you - its almost easier just to travel to New York to try and feel that way.  Because understanding this value is. hard. work.  Often it requires situations much the opposite of the streets of NYC - unless of course - the depths of your soul are organized in a grid pattern with a great big park in the middle!