a bit of housekeeping

so, i think i spend too much time thinking about things that I say and write. for example - one reason i struggled to write thoughts out in this blog (other than making time to do it) is that I would write something out and then I would look at it and read it and think that my friends would think odd of me for writing that. In truth, at times I was afraid to be honest about what I was thinking - this is probably partly because what I am thinking is often dumb and should be vetted well - but at the same time I need to be willing to honest with thoughts as well. More importantly, I need to be willing to show my wrongness - because, honestly, I am wrong in thoughts a lot of the time. But those wrong thoughts are still a part of some larger whole - and i think it is probably valuable (humbling) that I am honest about those wrong thoughts too and ask for [gentle] correction from friends that would be kind enough to read said thoughts :).

so as such i feel much more appreciative about the whole cycle. with that said - i will still make one more note i was mulling over about my previous post. When I was talking about how it can be most difficult to be like Christ in social situations I want to clarify that I think this is not because of the people around us. It is because of our own desire to come across as who we want to come across as - it is because of how we care about how others view us - exactly what I was dealing with above. For our entire lives we have trained ourselves to *react* in social situations in order that the outcome would be that which we want to 'portray' to our friends and acquaintances. how unfortunate. but anyway - just was thinking about that a bit more today. a scary thought - but i better post it anyway exactly because i need to try and practice not being worried about some scary and stupid thoughts!