"No - I do not know Him!"

"The genius of the moral teachings of Jesus and his first students was his insistence that you cannot keep the law by trying not to break the law. That will only make a Pharisee of you and sink you into layers of hypocrisy." Dallas Willard, The Great Omission

Its true. I think this does not just make you a hypocrite - but can be a trigger to the struggle of anger. Trying NOT to break the law is a lonely and saddening pursuit, which then in turn means that when others around you fail in the ways that you are failing in - you can automatically react with anger - because what they do is making it difficult to do what you want to do. This is, in fact, entirely selfish, and another problem that arises out of this effort to simply not break the law.

"Instead, you have to be transformed in the functions of the soul so that the deeds of the law are a natural outflow of who you have become." Dallas Willard, The Great Omission

"When you try to 'bless those who curse you,' for example, trying will prove never to be enough; you have to be trained for that." Dallas Willard, The Great Omission

"Our good ideas and intentions are practically helpless in the face of what our body in the social context is poised to do automatically. Jesus, of course, understood all this very well. Thus, he knew that Peter's declaration that he would not deny him were irrelevant to what he would actually do in the moment of trial." Dallas Willard, The Great Omission

"So, you men could not keep watch with Me for one hour? Keep watching and praying that you may not enter into temptation; the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak." Jesus, Mathew 26

Recently I was able to see that Jesus truly believed that the spirit of the disciples was willing to do everything to support him, even to join him in prayer in a time of great struggle. It was the part of their self known as flesh that was weak - as ours is - to do that 'which we want to do'. This is especially true in social situations (partly the reason, apparently, why solitude & silence is so fundamental to our growth - maybe more on that later) because other people around us can and do help us to do the things that our spirit desires but, alas, it is also in these social situations where we see ourselves act seemingly without our control, doing the things we wish not to. Peter denied Jesus simply because that was the natural, protective reaction of his 'flesh'. Imagine the self-kicking he did for that.

"Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, 'Do you love Me?' And he said to Him, 'Lord, You know all things; You know that I love you.' Jesus said to him, 'Tend My sheep.'" John 21: 17b

In response and forgiveness, what does Jesus tell Peter to do - 'Tend My sheep.' Jesus told him an action to do in order to work to correct a weakness in his flesh. But we cannot *try* not to break the law, and similarly we cannot just *try* to live as Jesus did. I think what I am beginning to learn is that Jesus told Peter to 'Tend My sheep' in order that Peter would be trained. To expand, it is as if the discipline of tending sheep is the active vehicle through which God works in grace in Peter's life - slowly creating a situation in which he is able to do that which previously he is unable to do by direct effort. (aside: Willard's definition of discipline is something that we make do in order that, through grace, we are able to do what we previously were unable to do by direct effort). This is part of how we are united together, as a body of people being trained. We cannot simply try to be good in selfish and hypocritical pursuits. BUT - thankfully, we can take steps into disciplines which allow the grace of God to work to train our flesh and renew and restore our soul in such a way that we will naturally act in the way that Christ did.

Lord please continue to work through your grace in my wretched and weak flesh!